For two weeks the bag remained in the airing cupboard hidden from sight.
Alexis was watching TV when the phone vibrated madly against his leg. He quickly got up and rushed upstairs to answer it where no one could hear. The number was withheld.
“Hello” Alexis answered the phone.
A deep rusty voice that Alexis didn’t recognise told him to bring the bag outside Kilburn Park Station in an hour, and said a man in a red jacket and white cap would collect it off of him. Alexis was told to watch out for police and not be late before the phone cut off.
He was nervous, and sat on his bed motionless for a good ten minutes.
He decided to call Dane and tell him about it, perhaps he’d come with him. His phone was switched off.
Dane never had his phone off.
Alexis left a voicemail telling Dane to call him as soon as possible. He then sneaked downstairs and grabbed the blanket bundle quietly taking it back to his room.
He uncovered the rucksack and placed it on his bed. Taking the chair, he positioned it under the door handle and sat on it. He looked across the room towards his bed.
The rucksack was heavy on his back as he walked home with it that day. Dane’s uncle Rico told him to look after it until he contacted him about when and where to deliver it. He gave him a mobile phone and told him to keep it on him at all times.
He said that he would have done it himself but had no space in his house to hold the bag and was busy organising a meeting with a Nigerian business man who was currently in England.
Alexis remembered Rico’s last words before he left the house with Dane,
“Do not open the bag because I’ll know about it.”
That sent shivers down Alexis’ spine, but he was comforted by the fresh bank notes in his pocket which he played with his fingers. £100 now and £100 when he delivered it.
When he got home that day he rolled the bag in a blanket and stuffed it at the very top of his airing cupboard. His mum wouldn’t touch it until winter when the blankets were needed, and his little brothers couldn’t reach it.
He laid back on his bed smugly counting the five £20 notes, then took out the mobile phone that Rico gave him. He’d never had a mobile before, but was familiar with it from playing with friend’s phones at school.
He put it on silent.
He’d have to charge it at school so his mum or brothers couldn’t see it. It shouldn't be a problem, all the other kids that had phones did it while the teachers weren’t looking. He’d borrow one of their chargers.
The day after his job hunting experience, Alexis told his friend Dane about the previous day.
“Why didn’t you tell me you needed money?” he replied.
He then told Alexis about doing some work for his uncle, Rico Ramirez. Alexis hesitated, he knew his mother wouldn’t approve. She barely let him associate with Dane in the first place because he was the nephew of the notorious Rico Ramirez.
Dane saw Alexis’ concern,
“What’s the look for? My Uncle’s not as bad as people make him out to be, and he pays well.. in cash.”
“Doing what?” Alexis asked with doubt.
“This and that, picking up and delivering things that he doesn’t have time to do himself, come on we’ll go and see him now!”
Dane jumped off the wall they were sitting on and beckoned Alexis to follow. Alexis was uncertain, but thought it wouldn’t hurt to have a look.
His mum was taken aback but tried not to show it. His brothers were still jumping up and down excitedly. She told them to go back to playing with their cars which they did with the same enthusiasm. She then hugged Alexis telling him it was okay. Alexis emerged from his mother’s embrace still composed and headed for the stairs. Without turning around, he said
“tomorrows another day.”
His mum smiled with the same pride she had when he initially set out in the morning. She couldn’t see the tears streaming down his eyes as he walked up the stairs to his room. Alexis closed the door behind him, and placed a chair under the door handle so his little brothers couldn’t see him like this.
They all shared the same room.
Alexis cried that whole night. He must have asked in every shop on Oxford Street. They all gave him the same answer: He was too young and he had no experience. Most of the managers that bothered to speak to him seemed to look down on him, as if he were nothing. Alexis wiped the tears with the back of his hand, took off the tie and threw it across the room which landed on his brother’s toy truck.
It was a vicious circle. He couldn’t get a job because he didn’t have any experience, and he couldn’t get any experience because no one would give him a job.
It all seemed futile. How can you get out of the gutter when everyone treats you like shit?
He contemplated how the rucksack came into his life.
Alexis had high hopes the day he turned 16. He had it all planned out. He was going to get a part time job for the weekends, saving half of what he earned for himself and the rest to help out his mum. She didn’t earn a lot being a cleaner in the local primary school, but she tried her best.
Alexis remembered his mum helping him go through his wardrobe and finding something that looked smart enough for him to go job hunting. He distinctly remembered looking in the mirror and being ashamed. All he had was a plain white shirt from his school uniform, a pair of blue jeans and his new trainers.
His mum had excitedly rummaged through her cupboard to find a tie his Dad had left behind. It was black with a white paisley design. She had tears in her eyes as she watched him put the tie on. Alexis didn’t like it, but could see the pride in his mother’s streaming eyes.
He had become a man.
When Alexis came home later that day he walked through his kitchen with a smile on his face and his head held high. His mum who was cooking jumped to conclusions and hugged him exclaiming enthusiastically “you got a job!” His little brothers stopped playing with their car toys and jumped up and down with delight holding onto Alexis’ jeans.
Alexis couldn’t look at them. He remembered turning his attention to the hand-me-down toy cars on the floor and reminiscing back to the days when he used to sit playing with them while his mother cooked.
Alexis sat it his chair looking over at the red rucksack on his bed. Caught in a daydream he contemplated how he ended up on this path. He was 16 years old and had no money, but was that a valid excuse for what he was about to do.
When you are poor it seems as though everyone around is intent on reminding you that you are, even your friends. “Listen to this track on my Beats by Dre”… “Look what I’ve got on my iPhone”… “Check out my £300 Nike trainers.”
Alexis looked down at his £20 trainers from Shoe Express that his mum bought him for his birthday. All black so they were easier to clean. People laughed at him as they resembled the plimsolls they were forced to wear in the gym in primary school.
How can you ask your mother for money when she’s struggling enough as it is to feed three kids on her own and too proud to take benefits. His dad? He didn’t know whether he was alive or dead, just that if he was alive,
The carriage lights began to switch on and off erratically. As Jarrett looked up at the ceiling he pondered if perhaps it had been a blown fuse. There was a loud buzzing before the lights starting going haywire.
He looked down the carriage to see what the other passengers made of it. They too looked rather startled. The train was still moving and headed for the next station.
Perhaps the driver would sort the problem when they got there.
⇩ Take the opportunity to explore another character before reading the final chapter
Luke Ashley
He is wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with white trainers and a smart black duffle jacket. He sits motionless on the train staring at his reflection in the window in front of him. He looked as though he was contemplating something; as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders
He is a young man dressed completely in black, his hood up, casting a shadow on his face. He sits on the very back of the train, legs sprawled across the seats. There is a slight look of paranoia in his eyes as he nudges a red rucksack beside him, closer to his body.
The rain pelted the windows. Jarrett looked outside and commiserated himself and his bad luck, he did not have a jacket. He looked at his watch, damn he was late. He then turned his attention to his knuckles which were sore and red.
He was drowning in his own questions. Was there anything he could have done better? Could he have won? What if he spent more time in the gym? He cracked his knuckles which stung slightly, rubbing his raw skin against the palm of his left hand. He visualised himself trapped in the corner, Chinedu leaning on him and calmly saying “I’ve got you.’
A bead of sweat dropped down Jarrett’s forehead like the droplets of rain on the window in front of him. He wiped it with his hand touching his swollen face. He let out a sigh, why does he go through this kind of pain? In his mind he heard his coach’s voice “we’ll go over some of the mistakes you made at training tomorrow.”
What mistakes? He spent years developing an impeccable form and it was useless when push came to shove. Perhaps he wasn’t cut out for this kind of busines and didn’t have what it takes. He felt as though his heart dropped inside as he remembered his dad teaching him how to punch when he was little.
The Light from outside began to die away as the train entered the tunnel. His reflection became more apparent in the window as he studied his likeness. Had his life till now been a waste? Did he reach for the stars only to grab a handful of clouds? His dreams like the clouds slowly evaporating from his fingertips.
Luke jumped as a loud buzzing sound ripped through the carriage. The lights then began to die, flickering, struggling to stay alive. He looked through the window connecting to the next carriage, it was empty and the lights were flickering too. He looked towards the end of the carriage and noticed the other passenger’s curiosity for this unexpected event.
The train was still in motion, jolting every now and then as it normally does.
Surely the driver was in control of the situation.
⇩ Take the opportunity to explore another character before reading the final chapter
Jarrett Sinclair
He is an athletically built man wearing a grey tracksuit with red trainers. He is sitting forward on the edge of his seat studying his reflection, every now and then gently touching his cheeks with his fingertips. His face looks swollen and painful to the touch. He continually cracks his knuckles.
He is a young man dressed completely in black, his hood up, casting a shadow on his face. He sits on the very back of the train, legs sprawled across the seats. There is a slight look of paranoia in his eyes as he nudges a red rucksack beside him, closer to his body.
The rain pattered against the window in front of him. They reminded him of the amount of tears he must have shed in the past few weeks. Like the rain his tears were endless streams, with no sign of relenting. He had nothing left but hope, hope that seeing her would somehow make things better.
He had to tell her how he felt. Somewhere deep inside he thought that if she knew how much pain he was going through and how hollow he felt inside without her, she would change her mind and take him back. Luke dropped his head, his bottom lip trembling at the thought of being rejected again. Was this all a big mistake?
His leg twitched nervously, wondering what time it was. Would she be awake when he got there? He looked down the carriage as one of the other passengers answered his phone. He kicked himself, for deleting her phone number.
Perhaps she was upset too and was being stubborn, waiting for him to make the first move and call. A new sense of optimism came across him. Luke looked at his reflection in the window, and for the first time in a number of weeks, he smiled.
As the train pulled into the tunnel, he thought about what he would say. If things didn’t go his way then at least he would have the opportunity to find the answers to the questions that were preventing him from getting on with way his life.
